Be Yourself, You Are Enough

A few years ago I was at a multiple day conference with a couple hundred women. I found myself in a space where I felt extremely uncomfortable in my own skin. Nothing had happened in that space to cause me to feel uncomfortable; the feelings were rising up from inside of me. Familiar lies rose to the surface in my mind and with them tears threatened to spill out from under my eye lids. 

My insecurities had been poked and without warning I was not showing up as the confident person I knew I could be and mostly was. In an effort to hide my insecurities or make myself feel better I reacted poorly in a group in a way that didn’t reflect who I wanted to be. I knew I was coming across as awkward and insecure in a non-vulnerable and inauthentic way. I didn’t like the me that had risen to the surface. She was unwelcome and simultaneously I didn’t know how to put her away. 

When our emotions aren’t aren’t rooted in truth they can rise to the surface and take over without much warning. When this happens, like in my previous story, events that should be positive are tainted by negative self-talk, and easily followed by tears. Or worse, I become needy to those around me looking for them to affirm me in order to counter my insecurities, even though nothing positive they say actually matters because I have already decided to believe my pet lies.

I am learning to root my thoughts about myself in truth. How do we do this? Great question. One of the ways I am learning to be able to recognize truth from a lie is by adjusting my perspective. Would I look at, think about, talk about someone else like I do myself? When I do feel insecure and the lies rise up in my mind, do I have a safe person I can say them out loud to, and when that person speaks truth back do I take it and choose to believe it?

Vulnerability and authenticity can be our best friends in fighting against allowing our emotions to be rooted in lies which breed insecurity. When we are battling those thoughts, write them out or say them out loud and then say out loud or in writing that they aren’t true. We need to celebrate the journey we are on, celebrate who we are, how far we have come, all we have been through and where we are going. Find people to follow who are also honest about they are a work in progress. 

I still battle insecurity on the regular. This is not something I have mastered. And, I want you to know, this last year I went to that same conference again and I conquered my insecurity. I showed up as myself. I walked confidently. I saw others. Instead of being self obsessed, I was able to focus on others as an encourager which, I think, is the better version of myself.

We have to recognize where our emotions are rooted in lies resulting in insecurity because how we are able to love and see ourselves directly impacts how we are able to to love and see others. 

When we model authenticity and vulnerability; choosing to be honest about our journeys we normalize change, growth and imperfection. Isn’t this what we need? To know we all struggle, we all need a perspective check and we are all a work in progress?

Let me be this voice for you today, your insecurities are not the whole of you and they are rooted in lies. You are beautifully becoming every day. The world around you will be positively impacted by who you are as you choose to believe and live out of the truth of your immense value .