Ask a Therapist: What do I do When I am Triggered?
Have you ever over-reacted so strongly and later found yourself thinking
“Why did I do that? What was I thinking? Why did I respond that way? What is wrong with me?”
What if I told you that nothing was wrong with you and in fact, everything was right? Meaning: your survival system is working the way it was set up to work, but sometimes it receives an incorrect message and sends out survival impulses and energy when it is not needed.
For example, if you were held down as a child for a medical procedure, even if it was for an injection, your survival system coded that event as dangerous. Let’s say the nurse was wearing Chanel perfume. Years later, as an adult, you walk through the perfume section at a department store and suddenly your heart starts pounding and you feel like your legs want to run, or maybe even give out. Your survival brain reacted to the threat of the perfume, without your conscious awareness, because previously it was connected to what felt like a dangerous moment.
This reaction, although some may call it an overreaction, is a hard-wired response to danger. Since perfume is not actually dangerous, we can call this a brain misfire. Your brain associated parts of an overwhelming experience as dangerous, so your body is not doing anything wrong. In fact, it is doing everything it can to protect you. In these moments, we need to know what to do to help our body and survival brain calm and know that we are safe.
The next time you react with that adrenalin rush and there is no danger present, there are things you can do to give your survival brain the correct information that “nothing bad is happening right now,” which will help your body to calm by stopping the survival energy from being released.
STEPS for when your survival brain is activated without the presence of real danger:
Speak compassionately to yourself and recognize that your brain and survival system are doing what it thinks it is supposed to do and that it just needs the correct information to settle.
Try looking around the room or space you are in, slowly, and name objects you see, or touch some objects that are calming, or use some pleasant scents that are comforting, or imagine your favorite vacation spot or place to be. Give your body several minutes to take in the new information around you through all your senses.
Now that you have helped your nervous system and survival brain to calm down with the correct information that nothing bad is happening right now, notice what is happening in your body. You might notice a slowed heart rate, shoulders going down or feeling less tight, or slower and deeper breaths. Your survival brain is now getting the message that there is no danger and that you are okay, therefore the survival energy surge is stopping.
Be gentle with yourself. Remember there is always a reason when your survival brain and nervous system misfire. Just recognize it as a time to give it the appropriate information so that it can stop sending out those danger signals when there is no threat.
If you would like more information about your body’s fight or flight responses, you can read:
Healing Trauma or In an Unspoken Voice by Peter Levine
The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, Self-Regulation by Stephen W. Porges (more in depth and lots of science!)
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Dr Bessel Van der Kolk
In summary, your body and survival system are pre-wired to protect you from danger. Sometimes the protective mechanisms misfire and over-react to non-dangerous situations, filling your body with fight/flight/freeze energy.
There is always a reason this happens. Using grounding strategies to remind your body that nothing dangerous is happening right now can begin to inform your survival system that there is no current danger.
Hopefully you will gain a deeper appreciation for your body, brain, and survival system and how it works to protect you and keep you safe. We can learn how to work with our survival system so that it is ready to go for those moments when it is really needed.
If your body has multiple “misfires” per day or per week and the strategies above are not helping, you may want to seek out professional help with a caring therapist with somatic therapy knowledge or approaches. Reach out if you need help.