Nothing great ever comes out of easy experiences, for without the struggles we will never learn to overcome the challenges that come against us, nor will we be able to appreciate the little life confirmations we are given.

The word “depth” has a few different explanations of what it means. In one definition it can mean “the distance from the top or surface to the bottom of something.” It can also mean “the quality of being intense.”

My days were busy, my life chaotic, and then… I got pregnant. I realized then that I needed to go to the depths of my pain in order to confront and move beyond  everything that it affected in my life. The journey, still continuing years later; has been the most  intense, emotional, heartbreaking, restorative experience I could have ever allowed myself to go through. Here are the Top 5 things I learned through this ongoing process: 

When I think of her, I hear little girl laughter, hers and mine. I see the darkness of corners where we hide together from our moms because we don’t want to be parted. I see the yellow Belle dress, its gauzy layers twirling with her as she leaps across the room. I taste buttery cornbread—the last meal I shared with her.

My first inclination is to tell you that that when I got the call telling me my childhood friend had died, “time stopped,” or “I felt great pain,” or “I felt empty.”