Believe in Yourself
I heard it once said that the biggest regret people have when they reach the end of their lives is that they do not do what they actually want to do. For some that is working at the expense of lost time with family and friends, for others it is not traveling enough, and for others it is letting the fear of what other people think of them dictate their entire lives.
What do you want to do? Maybe that is a scary question, one that you have not given yourself permission to consider in a long time. But I urge you to take some time and think about it. What do you not want to regret as you are laying on your deathbed? Do not think about money or practicality. No dream is too big for this thought experiment. Let the critical parts of your brain take a rest and truly ask yourself what you want.
My next question may not come as a shock: why haven't you done what you have always wanted to do? Get out all of your best excuses: money, fear, physical distance, distractions, time. Tell me all of it.
Do you still want to do it?
If the answer is yes, now you have a choice. You can choose to work for what you want or you can walk away. Not doing that thing that you have always wanted to do may seem easier, but it is actually much more painful. When I was in high school I was terrified of what people thought of me and so I never did anything that I was not comfortable with. I never pushed myself to make friends or try my hand at a sport or play an instrument. I constantly put myself into the shadows and tried to be as invisible as possible. It felt easy and comfortable at the time. A couple of nights ago, I found the yearbook from my senior year of high school. I showed up in that book a total of two times: one was my senior picture and the other was a group of my friends and my shoulder, with my face cut off. I spent day after day in the same classes and spaces as everyone else but tried so hard to be invisible that I actually did it, I became invisible. My 25 year old self was deeply saddened for my 17 year old self. My fear kept me from living and I regret it to this day.
If you decide to pursue the thing, you must believe in yourself. And I know me telling you that is easier said than done, but it's also true. Maybe believing in yourself is hard for you because of past experiences. You failed and fell short. Friend, it happens and it's okay! You can choose to be resilient, try again, and work more towards what you want to do. Failures are learning opportunities. Do it messy. Show up tired. Give 2% rather than 0%. Doing something poorly is truly better than not doing it at all! (My high school yearbook is a word of warning to us all.) Believe in yourself because why-the-heck-not. Believe in yourself because you have a purpose and a light that only you can shine in the world. Believe in yourself because you are stinking incredible. Believe in yourself because you are capable and qualified for greatness.
While you are believing in yourself, share it with someone else too! Tell someone you love that you believe in them, are cheering them on, and support them unconditionally. You will both be better for it!
