You Belong Here
Have you ever bought something and then realize that many people also have the same item? Before you bought the thing, you never saw other people with it, but afterwards everyone and their mother has it. Was it because they went out and bought it, inspired by your incredible taste? Maybe! Though, probably not. I bought a purple car one time and before this car, I never saw someone else with that color! After buying the car, I probably saw a purple car twice a week! I was looking even though I did not realize it. “Seek and you will find” is a verse that I tell myself often if I am experiencing one overwhelming emotion and I have found it to be true. If I am looking for good things, I am bound to be happy and grateful. If I am looking for bad things, I am bound to be angry and sad.
Seek and you will find is also true for belonging. If you look for it and expect it, you will find it. If you go into the world expecting to not belong, you will find that you do not belong anywhere. In Brene Brown’s book Braving the Wilderness she says:
Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal….No one belongs here more than you.
Dang. I know that I have spent way too much energy thinking about how people do not like me or over-analyzing how different I am from others. Too many times I have walked into a room, expecting to stick out like a sore thumb. My confirmation biases proved what I knew to be true; I do not belong. When you do not have a strong sense of belonging anywhere, you are less likely to invest in a community, be known and loved by people, and have positive self-worth. Expecting not to belong, confirms that you do not, in fact, belong.
Consider now places where you have felt like you do belong. You walk through the doors with confidence because you feel known and loved. That sense of belonging is proven when people embrace you with unconditional support and love. You understand inside jokes and can communicate with your people with a look. When you truly belong, fighting for your community comes easy because you know its worth. Belonging draws you in and requires hard conversation because you know they are important to build relationships. When you belong somewhere, it is not so easy to ghost, strands of friendship bind you tightly.
Many of us maintain a steady diet of surface-level relationships and don’t actually feel a sense of belonging anywhere. We live our lives believing we do not belong anywhere so we have one foot in all of our friend groups, family structures, clubs, and relationships. Knowing that when (not if) people let us down we can take ourselves out without much damage to our hearts.
My sweet friend, can I invite you into this community of encouragement, hope, and unconditional friendship?
You belong here!
All of your messy, beautiful self belongs right in this space. The LOVE, SOPHIA community was created for YOU. So take a seat and take up space. You belong here and the evidence is in these pages, I challenge you to look for it.
