Things I Struggle with as a Christian

Knowing my worth

Have you ever questioned your worth before? Am I good enough for him? Or do I deserve this happiness? Why me? These are all things I have asked myself before as a question if I was worthy of good things or if I had deserved the amazing things that have happened in my life.

In Genesis 1:27 it states, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them”.  We are made in His image! My mind cannot grasp how wonderfully and beautifully made that makes me. God is perfect and I am made in his image. No matter what I do or how many mistakes I make I am still made in His image and I am still a child of God. He made the world we know in 7 days but took 9 months to create you and me. I need to focus on His truth and remind myself when I'm feeling small and insignificant that God created me with a vision. I have strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else and I want to recognize that it is all for His glory. God wants us to lean on Him when we are feeling this way.

Ask Him to fill you with His strength or to remind you that you are loved. He will respond in His own way and you can be reminded that He is always there for you. When I am feeling this way I am getting into the habit of going to God first and then working on something I am passionate about. I want to become the best me and while I am always worthy, when I am doing something I love, I feel my best. Personally, writing is a passion of mine and whenever I am writing I feel closest to myself and God. Put time into yourself and use it as a reminder that you are worthy.

Praying first

In situations of stress, anger, disappointment, fear or any big emotion I tend to try to handle it all on my own and carry these feelings with me. I struggle and struggle with the pain with the discomfort and then when it becomes unbearable, I then pray about it. Immediately, I feel better and am relieved that I brought it to God, but what about doing that the second I am stuck with a problem? I want my initial reaction to be filled with God and His peace, and all that starts with a prayer. I have found for God’s peace to happen and for me to pray first, I need to start my day with him. Whether that be worship music in the morning or devotionals or even reading the verse of the day on a Bible app. Praying first will happen when you put God first in your life and keep Him there by choosing to give Him every part of you. From my experience it is a choice we have to make daily and sometimes isn't the first or easiest choice. Control is my first reaction and I am so often reminded by my mentors and even God himself that I need to give it up and trust in Him that He has me and has my best in thought. He will never let us down but doing it ourselves and not letting Him in will or not be filled with the blessings He had intended. The comfort God brings makes praying to Him first worth every moment and prayer.

Gossiping 

“Give me the tea!” I say this sentence daily and as I'm thinking about it an embarrassing amount of times that I will never admit to. The issue is, what is really my goal when I ask that question? Does my best show when I am asking about the mistakes or drama of other people? The Bible actually says a lot about gossiping and holding your tongue. I encourage you to look into it because it convicted me to hold my tongue and listen more and speak less. Ephesians 4:29 states: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” I know for a fact that not all the words I say build others up and especially when I am angry or hurt. When I think of the Godliest people in my life they are the people that are first to listen and when they do talk it is filled with truth, honesty and purity. When I start a conversation by talking bad about someone I am not being the woman of God He has asked me to be. My words show who I am and why I am and If i'm not representing Him then what am I doing.  

Trusting God with my future

I love control and planning but in reality I am not in control and plans fail everyday. I find when my anxiety and stress are the highest are when I am trying to do it all on my own. It's like I'm drowning with nothing to hold on to. When I finally get a grip on reality I can see that all along God was right there holding His hand out waiting for me to rely on Him. In the Bible the book of Joshua talks about the Israelites and how they were so ready to leave captivity but when they were in the wilderness they lost their faith in God and resulting in them having to stay there for 40 years. This made me reflect on the fact that I haven't given God many parts of my future and I am still trying to control them. What am I missing out on because I am not trusting Him? For me,  it is a daily prayer I have to pray saying, “God I give this day to you and whatever comes up I trust in you.” I have to commit not only the big things but also the small things to Him. He wants all of you and He is waiting for you to hold onto him and embrace the future with Him. You and Him together are an unstoppable team. 

Idols 

I like to obsess over certain activities or things as they may be fun and new and bring in excitement to my daily life. The problem with this is that while these new things are fun they also like to overshadow the most important things in my life like God, my husband and family. In Exodus it says that you shall have no other gods before our God and I see this stick out a lot in my life because when my life is going out of control and I can't seem to get a grip its because something else had been taking all my attention and I was not attending to what God is saying to me. I know that He says this not just because He wants our whole hearts but also to help make our lives easier when we can fall on Him for relief. Whatever has our attention above Him is an idol and for me I need to constantly remind myself and ask is this really my priority? Does this honor God? If not, why am I giving it my time? Even harmless things like a new show on netflix or spending all my time scrolling, if it takes away from my God time or things I need to do it has become an idol. I have to remind myself often that everything must come with balance and discipline. If I feel something crosses a boundary with those two I have to convict myself and change my ways. Trust me it's hard but so worth it when you are focused on your goals in a new way you never thought possible. 

Reading my Bible daily

I am a busy person as I am sure most of you are too and some of the smaller things slip through the cracks. I have unfortunately over the years made doing my daily devotions a “small thing”, when in reality it is not. I find when I make God my number 1, my devotions become the perfect place for me to connect with Him and become centered in His truth. Without, I lose my way with Him and start falling back into my old sinful ways and habits. I am not saying that with daily time with God I become magically perfect but I do want you to know that when life goes by in His presence it is so, so much better. I find that when I write out a to-do list or even set a time for me to start, I will be better about spending that time with Him. I also love to invite other people to do it together and not only hold each other accountable but also grow together and with Him. Every moment with God matters and is never wasted.