Lessons from Someone Struggling with Social Media
Can I be honest with you? This week I have really struggled with boundaries with social media. I have found myself picking up my phone all the time and immediately going to Instagram to endlessly scroll more times than I can count. My unhealthy attachment crept up on me slowly until it was obviously negatively affecting my life. I'd pick it up literally while working, at stop signs when I was driving, and at dinner with my family. This came as a shock to me because I usually do not have such an attachment to my phone.
My realization has led me to consider my motivations more intentionally and I have had to ask myself some hard questions. To be honest I am still working on answers and solutions. But in the meantime, my struggle with social media this week has taught me 3 very important lessons.
Social media is not real. There is a Tick-tock sound currently that says this phrase and every time I hear it checks my heart. Social media, whether that be Instagram, Tick-tock, Pinterest, Youtube etc., is a picture of human life but it isn't life itself. Real life is our daily interactions with people we love, be it a cup of delicious coffee, or the sound of rain, the smell of your favorite food being made for dinner, the feeling of freshly washed sheets and recently shaved legs. None of that can be accurately represented on the internet. The people whose lives we watch on social media, while important don't get me wrong, are not our neighbors or friends or family. They are people who are often trying to get paid and what they put on the internet is but a glimpse of their actual real lives. And don't even get me started on filters. Saying “social media is not real” aloud has helped my brain be present in my life once again.
My phone is not me. Have you ever thought about how we treat our phones as if they are an extension of ourselves? If you put your phone in a box with 100 other phones, I bet you could determine which one is yours fairly easily. It is as specific to you as the outfit that you are wearing. We treat our phones like an extra body part not like the piece of metal that it is. My phone is not me and is not connected to my body.
Phones are addictive. Two days ago I deleted all social media off of my phone. It was my last-ditch-quit-cold-turkey-attempt because my usual boundaries were not working. It worked for two day! But tonight, I was feeling pretty proud of myself and so I logged into my account on my laptop (loopholes baby). Before I knew it more than an hour had passed. Just like an addictive substance, I got a hit off of scrolling and my brain wouldn't stop until I forced it to. Inviting other people into this has been helpful to me because they keep me accountable and can celebrate wins with me!
Fighting for boundaries with your phone is hard but not being present as the alternative is truly terrifying. As I struggle, I am realizing that my choices matter. I can chose to be a slave to my emotional support coping mechanism or establish boundaries that help me become free little by little.
